In family life, many parents do not have a clear idea of how to solve sibling conflicts at home. However, in order to live and manage sibling competition in a healthy way, the process needs to be prepared correctly from the beginning during pregnancy. Explaining that children will have siblings during pregnancy will be able to prepare for this process together, take basic steps, and allow long-term sibling conflicts and jealousy to be manageable.
Children sometimes express to their families that they want brothers, sometimes they don’t want them at all. Some kids don’t talk about it at all. In any case, the arrival of a brother in the house will change the family system and balance. Sibling jealousy is a universal phenomenon and an extremely healthy feeling. You shouldn’t blame yourself in a situation like this.
What can be done to manage this process well from the beginning?
- When your child tells you, ‘Make me a brother!’ when you say, “It’s very important for us to express this idea. This is a decision that your parents can make, if we make such a decision, we will inform you.” Because many children attribute the fact that they have a brother to their own will. In the future, if he doesn’t like his brother, the idea of ‘I can send it back from the world, as I gave birth to.’ If you are planning a second pregnancy it is important to share the whole process before birth with the older child and prepare it.
When should you explain that you’re pregnant?
- It is beneficial to reveal that the mother is pregnant, critically after the first 4 months, and even after the gender is revealed if possible. If something happens to the baby at this critical time, it may be difficult for the child to detect and manage this process. On the other hand, it can be difficult to make sense that the baby stays in the womb for a long time, especially in young children, since there is no time table. Children often question when their siblings will arrive.
- During this period, the mother-to-be can benefit from stories and storybooks about the sibling process.
- In the process, it is very important to answer all the questions the child asks. If there are questions you hesitate to answer, you can be answered ‘I will investigate this and share the answer with you when I find it.’
- If the child is often concerned about hospital checks and is concerned about the health and safety of the mother, you can explain that you are safe and that doctors will do everything they need in a normal way.
- If there are to be radical changes in the child’s life, it is recommended that these changes be made before birth.When processes such as school change, diaper cessation, room replacement correspond to the same time as the birth of the brother, the child; it reconciles the difficulty of his life and the change with the arrival of his brother.
- It is important to prepare for the birth process of your brother with your child. For example, if you want to Preparing the baby’s cabinets together, lining up their toys, such as doing things with the child will be a positive connection.
You should inform your child about his brother
- Young children wait ready for the game as soon as their siblings are born. So it’s important to explain to the child that your brother will spend some time sleeping and sucking on a.
- In this process, it is important to inform family members, relatives and schools and to get their support in this regard.
- If your child’s old items are to be used for the sibling, it is important to ask your child. “We want to give your brother your bed, we’re thinking of buying you a bigger bed,” and it’s effective to get the boy’s approval.
- It is important that there is an adult to take care of the child during the birth of his brother. If the mother is to stay in the hospital, doing activities with the child staying at home, playing games, will reduce the anxiety that may arise due to the absence of the family.
- The big boy is often required to avoid rhetoric such as ‘You are a brother now, your sister’. You can refer to growth from time to time. In fact, big brother/sister parties and rituals can be done. But it should not be overlooked that the eldest child is also a child. It is unfair to raise the child early on and make him play a big part.
- If the older child is going to visit the hospital when the brother is born, it is useful not to see the mother and baby very close in the first encounter. The moment of the first encounter is very important. In the meantime, it is advisable that the mother take care of the older child privately and express that she misses her.
- The family may need to provide spare gifts. Usually guests who come to see the baby bring gifts to the baby.This can also negatively affect the older child. Therefore, applying to backups will make the process easier.
- It is important to call the baby by name.
- Whatever the general rules and behaviors of the family before the birth of the baby, it is important that similar processes continue after the baby.
- It’s important to spend one-on-one time with both children after the birth of a brother: father and daughter, father and son. Thus, children will be able to spend time with their parents without someone who shares their love and interest.