Brother’s Coming!

It can sometimes be harder to tell children that he’s going to have a new brother. The child may find it difficult to accept his brother because he thinks his parents’ attention will focus on his brother, not himself anymore. Sometimes the parents’ concern causes the child to worry about his brother. Here are the answers to how to tell the child the existence of a new person and prepare the child for his newborn brother.

When should the family be told to the child a new individual will join?
The concept of time for children does not work like adults. They’re impatient, and it’s a long time for them to wait nine months. It is more useful to keep the duration short and to give this news to the child after the months of positive results and the delivery is finalized by conducting risk examinations. However, if the family hears the child from the environment and asks questions to his family before explaining to the child, it is necessary to tell the situation by not lying. On the other hand, in order to avoid damage to the sense of trust, it is necessary to inform the child before noticing the physical changes in the mother.

How should a new baby be told to the kids?
The conversation should be done in an environment where the child feels peaceful, calm and there are not many foreign people. The sentences, tone and attitudes established in the speech should be paid attention. The more comfortable mom and dad are, the more comfortable the child will be. If the child senses anxiety in his parents, he reacts to thinking that this is a creative thing for him as well.

Should the speech be like getting approval or apologizing?
No, in simple language, the child should be told about the changes that will occur at home, and the questions the child asks should be answered patiently. Abstract concepts should not be addressed too much. Sentences such as “we will love you as much as he does, you are our first pain in the eye” can cause question marks in the child, which can trigger a sense of competition for his brother. In order to embody what happened and make it easier for him to understand, the child’s infancy photos can be shown and 0 periods can be mentioned. On the other hand, the child’s expression of emotion is very important. Therefore, it is necessary to allow him to express his feelings, positive or negative. Telling him that a playmate is coming can be a nuisance in the future. It will be disappointing to see that he can’t play with his brother, who was very small and fragile when he was born, and the “wait a little bit” solace won’t be enough because the concept of time isn’t fully established. Parents’ expectations about the child’s reaction are also important. It may not be gratifying to learn that a brother will be born to share the mother of a child who is satisfied with this situation as the center of attention of the family.

Should the children’s opinion be asked about the brother?
Giving birth to a new child is actually a decision parents have to make. Sometimes children can insist on their parents being brothers because they want a playmate. But parents aren’t ready for the new child. In these situations, it would not be right to give birth to a new child just because the child insists. It is important that the family wants this process and is taking care of it.
Likewise, the fact that the child does not want a new brother should not affect the decision of the parents completely. Of course, it’s important to consider this situation, but it’s not necessary to make it central to the decision.

How should the child be convinced if he doesn’t want a brother?
First, it should be understood to the child that this is independent of the child’s will. The positives of having a brother should be explained and examples from their immediate surroundings should be given and the Child should be given time to digest this process.

What can be done about jealousy?
It is natural that the child, whose needs are met by their parents and collects attention and love as the child of the house, is jealous of his brother with the idea that this interest will be reduced and love will be shared after a new baby. The child, who undergoes sudden changes after his brother is born, binds the cause to his brother’s birth. This causes anger towards the new member. Therefore, it is necessary to start the changes that may occur in the child’s life before the baby is born. Some of the needs of the mother, the child normally meets, should be inherited by the father or other member of the family during pregnancy. Like your father doing day-to-day parking trips. Thus, after the birth of the baby, the mother, who is heavily cared for by her, does not take her hands off the big child.

How should he treat a child who hurts his brother?
The important thing parents should notice is that the person the child is angry about is not actually his newborn brother, but his parents, who often think they don’t treat him the way they used to.
But the boy reflects this anger on his brother, who seems to be the tangible source of change. So if the child’s behavior is to be prevented, he should not react for the century and express his negative feelings about it. Reacting to the century will both increase the child’s anger and then use it for interest. Children under 5 years old, for example, are not very conscious of the harm they are harming. Therefore, an attitude that the child has applied to his brother and the parents see as violence can be a situation where he struggles with his brother and examines him to satisfy his curiosity about child pain. However, it would be useful not to keep the siblings as small as possible from surveillance when they are together so that they will not be harmed. It is also important that parents support an expert in such critical situations, where they are forced to exhibit the right attitude.